The Flood Gates Are Open: Ode to My Junior Year...

I remember being eager.
that went to hell in a hand-basket

I remember the nervous constriction of my chest when I would see you walking down the halls, and the glimer of hope I felt when you would smile at me.
I was naive.

I remember Rocky Point Haunted House
I was so confused.

I remember Beauty and the Beast.
and the burning jealousy

I remember throwing away the best thing that happened to me.
...I have nothing to say.

I remember pain.
completely and idiotically self-inflicted...twice.

I remember braiding Becca's hair.
you're gorgeous darling, and definetly NOT a bitch.

I remember crying because I didn't get the fucking tapestry up.
and getting caught on the scrim...
and not closing the castle doors in-time...
and knocking into Cogsworth while running off-stage...
and leaving the rose on stage...
and breaking the set closing night...

I remember Wheel of Damnation.
I remember you Sousa...I remember you my friend.

I remember I remember being abandoned.
I remember pushing everyone away

I remember Brittany Hoffman.
I remember Jenesse Anderton.

I remember Comedy of Errors.
almost making another mistake

I remember Cassandra Hess.
only re-considering another go to protect her from you.

I remember giving up, losing hope.
feeling dirty

I remember [crying on] my Birthday.
my hands were burned from the ropes on the fly system.
I was dressed all in black because I was a techie,
but it still felt like I was ushering in my seventeenth birthday
as though it was a funeral...

I remember the Dining Room.
It was a great show

I remember One Acts.
I wanted my show to get cancelled, and I'll always be jealous of Emily's talent

I remember being voted in as President.
I hate you Chase Brown...I hate you

I remember Tasha.

I remember Gabe Feinstein.
you told me a beautiful lie. I miss you

I remember graduation.
good-bye. good-bye. good-bye.

I'll remember...

I'll always look back at my Junior year with a mixed sense of pride and shame at the mistakes I've made, and why I made them.