Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The Moments...

...checking for petty details of the moment, he dipped his head just slightly, but their lips met. Of all the never-happened, unsure moments in her life, this was the epitome. She’d have to get used to the feeling of a warm fire in her chest. She’d have to learn to deal with catching her breath every time he looked at her. But, she realized, it was a pretty nice thing to get used to.

Beautiful moments come and go.
Each One bringing color,
texture and contrast
to our otherwise, banal lives.

Hold onto each moment, my friends. For each moment, regardless of the pain it may have caused, will paint your world with vivid colors you can't even imagine.

Hold onto that Beauty.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Insomnia

Time: 3:36 a.m.

I fell asleep at 9:30 last night, then woke up again at 11:30 and couldn't fall back asleep. So now I'm trying to find ways to pass the time... I lied in bed for about two hours trying to will myself back to sleep, that didn't work out too well (or else I probably wouldn't be up right now). At around 1:00/1:30-ish I started freaking out because I thought I was hearing sounds in my backyard (mental images of the "Walsburg Scythe Man" appeared more than once) so I got up and turned my light on and read Wicked for the last two hours.

...Now I'm here...physically exhausted, but unable to sleep. Tomorrow is really going to suck.

Reading magazines and counting
sheep to pass the time away
Hoping that tomorrows gonna bring
a smile home again, images of palm trees
swaying in the wind on south beach
Takes me back to better days,
summer days the everglades in june

My brain, my poor brain
My brain, my poor brain
Im drinking myself to sleep again,
nightnurse pills to keep me sane
Drinking myself to sleep again, insomnia

Flying high in golden skies,
Im flicking channels in my mind
Finding my utopia a different chapter in a book
Thinking back to younger days
as I escape in coopers break
It takes me back to 84
the futures knocking at my door
My brain, my poor brain

My brain, my poor brain
Im drinking myself to sleep again,
nightnurse pills to keep me sane
Drinking myself to sleep again, insomnia
Im drinking myself to sleep again,
nightnurse pills to keep me sane
Drinking myself to sleep again, insomnia

Turning off a switch inside me,
leaving all the stress behind me
Flying over streams and houses,
passing over the wye valley
It takes me back to 84
the futures knocking at my door
My brain, my poor brain

Im drinking myself to sleep again,
nightnurse pills to keep me sane
Drinking myself to sleep again, insomnia
Im drinking myself to sleep again,
nightnurse pills to keep me sane
Drinking myself to sleep again, insomnia
Im drinking myself to sleep again,
nightnurse pills to keep me sane
Drinking myself to sleep again, insomnia.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Never Again

I'M FREEEEE!

and lonely...but never better.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

I woke up to this song this Morning...It was Fantastic.

"Welcome to the real world", she said to me
Condescendingly
Take a seat
Take your life
Plot it out in black and white
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
And the drama queens
I'd like to think the best of me
Is still hiding
Up my sleeve

They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above

So the good boys and girls take the so called right track
Faded white hats
Grabbing credits
Maybe transfers
They read all the books but they can't find the answers
And all of our parents
They're getting older
I wonder if they've wished for anything better
While in their memories
Tiny tragedies

They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you got to rise above

I am invincible
As long as I'm alive

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above

I just can't wait til my 10 year reunion
I'm gonna bust down the double doors
And when I stand on these tables before you
You will know what all this time was for

-John Mayer

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Thursday, October 12, 2006

...Lustful eh?...I guess that makes sense.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Low
Level 7 (Violent)High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I think I should have loved you presently...

So...change....decisions...future...bah

I don't want to have to deal with them right now, but alas, I must. Because I'm being faced with change, that in turn I must make decisions to that will both trivial and important to my future...

I thought/think I love fencing. It's so fun and it has changed my life in many ways, as well as given me a place to go and sort of vent my pent up energy, but something has changed. It just doesn't feel the same anymore. I'm not sure if it's me or if it's...well no it can't be anything else but me. Because it's ultimately my choice isn't it? Whether I still love it or not...What I'm coming to is that I'm probably going to have to quit.

I'm going to have to drop my AP European History class...which SUCKS because I love that class soo much, but I just can't keep up with the work load. But I love the subject!! But I'm going to have to replace it with another class so that I can keep participating in extra curriculars (I completely misspelled that word) and stuff.

I'm thinking of completely dedicating myself to theatre...which I'm not sure is such a good idea, but I like it a lot, and it makes me happier than anything else. I'm scared that I've taken my love for it for granted or completely ignored it up 'til now. So I'm wondering if it's too late?

I'm soo freaking scatter-brained and indecisive!

I'm scared that I'm going to quit something I could have the most potential in... but then again I can't keep spreading myself thin over too much bread... or else I won't reach any kind of potential at anything.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I should have loved you presently,
And given in earnest words I flung in jest;
And lifted honest eyes for you to see,
And caught your hand against my cheek and breast;
And all my pretty follies flung aside
That won you to me, and beneath your gaze,
Naked of reticence and shorn of pride,
Spread like a chart my little wicked ways.
I, that had been to you, had you remained,
But one more waking from a recurrent dream,
Cherish no less the certain stakes I gained,
And walk your memory’s halls, austere, supreme,
A ghost in marble of a girl you knew
Who would have loved you in a day or two.

Monday, October 09, 2006

...

I'm very twitterpated.

Monday, October 02, 2006

"Me Fail English...That's Umpossible!"

I can't write.

It's as simple as that. I mean, okay I can write when inspiration strikes, but that happens too rarely for me to be able to call myself a writer of any kind.

I'm so frustrated with myself...and my inability to put my thoughts down on a piece of paper. In AP English today we did a timed essay that was on an AP Test in like...the eighties or something, and for the life of me I could not figure out how to express the answer to the question (...What is the Complex Attitude of the Speaker?). I analyzed and annotated the poem...I knew what it was about, I knew the answer, but for the life of me I could not put it into words... my essay ended up being like 3 paragraphs long and barely even answered the question at all.

...I hate this!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

I Stole This From Lisa's Blog...hehehe

J: Lives life for fun.
E: A damn good kisser.
S: Easy to fall in love with.
S: Easy to fall in love with. (...ummm)
A: Easy to hang with.
M: Makes dating fun.
Y: One of the best damn bf/gf anyone could ask for.
N: Dead sexy. (HAHAHAHAHA!)

S: Easy to fall in love with.
V: Not judgemental. (pfft....)
E: A damn good kisser.
N: Dead sexy.
S: Easy to fall in love with.
S: Easy to fall in love with. (I have too many S's in my name!)
O: Best in bed. (I do what I can)
N: Dead sexy.

KEY:::

A: Easy to hang with.
B: Likes people.
C: Is wild and crazy.
D: Has one of the best personalities ever.
E: A damn good kisser.
F: People adore you.
G: Never let people tell you what to do.
H: Have a very good personality and looks.
I: Loves everyone.
J: Lives life for fun.
K: Really silly.
L: Loved by everyone.
M: Makes dating fun.
N: Dead sexy.
O: Best in bed.
P: Popular with all types of people.
Q: A hypocrite.
R: Frickin crazy.
S: Easy to fall in love with.
T: Loyal to those you love.
U: Really likes to chill.
V: Not judgemental.
W: Very broad minded.
X: Never let people tell you what to do.
Y: One of the best damn bf/gf anyone could ask for.
Z: Always ready.

All of these statements are generalizations that apply to everyone... but it's still fun to indulge in stupid little things every once in a while. :P