Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Boo! Hiss! Down in Front!

This week's Coodos goes to:
CONSIDERATE MOVIE-GOERS
Thank you for speaking politely when ordering your food at the consessions stand.
Thank you for not blaming us when our inventory is out of stock (it really isn't our fault, y'know).
Most of all...
Thank you for cleaning up after yourselves and not leaving your used garbage all over the theatre floors (especially on Sundays when there is only one of us cleaning the theatre!!!)

This week's Slap on the Wrist goes to:


The Die Hard Crowd.
 
Don't get me wrong, everyone knows that Bruce Willis + Guns = AWESOME, but seriously folks, everytime I've had to clean a Die Hard theatre, it has never failed to be the messiest.

I know that I'm gettng paid to clean, but that doesn't mean I'm walking around with a "throw-your-shit-EVERYWHERE-and-please-don't-worry-about-it-because-it's-my-job-to-clean" sign across my forehead! 
SO
Please, for the love of GOD...

Clean up after yourselves!!!


Sunday, July 15, 2007

Camp Granada: The Complete Lyrics

Hello muddah, hello faddah
Here I am at Camp Granada
Camp is very entertaining
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining.

I went hiking with Joe Spivy
He developed poison ivy
You remember Leonard Skinner
He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.

All the counselors hate the waiters
And the lake has alligators
And the head coach wants no sissies
So he reads to us from something called Ulysses.

How I don't want this should scare ya
But my bunkmate has malaria
You remember Jeffrey Hardy
They're about to organize a searching party.

Take me home, oh muddah, faddah
Take me home, I hate Granada
Don't leave me out in the forest where
I might get eaten by a bear.
Take me home I promise I will not make noise
Or mess the house with other boys.
Oh please don't make me stay
I've been here one whole day.

Dearest faddah, darling muddah,
How's my precious little bruddah
Let me come home, if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me.

Wait a minute, it's stopped hailing.
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing
Playing baseball, gee that's better
Muddah, faddah kindly disregard this letter.