Sunday, November 20, 2005

...The Road Less Traveled...

I find myself walking one path, but constantly wishing I took the other...but then again if I had taken the other path I would have been thinking about where this path would have led me...

I don't think I'm ready for what this might lead me to, the longer I stay on it the more lost I feel, the more...insecure about myself I feel and I know that if I continue forever on this path I'll just end up stumbling and getting cut somehow, but for now I'm content...the other way though I...I don't even know about the other way...whether I'll get hurt or not...

Is that a risk I'm willing to take? I think so

Will it make all the difference? maybe

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost

Monday, November 14, 2005

...I'm fine...

"Are You Happy Now?"

Now, don’t just walk away
Pretending everything’s ok
And you don’t care about me
And I know there’s just no use
When all your lies become your truths
and I don’t care... yeah, yeah, yeah

Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you’re happy now, ohhh, ohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

You took all there was to take,
And left me with an empty plate
And you don’t care about it, yeah.
And I am givin' up this game
I’m leaving you with all the blame
cause I don’t care, yeah, yeah yeah,

Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you’re happy now, oohh oohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now? yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you really have everything you want?
You can't ever give somethin' you ain't got
You can’t run away from yourself

Could you look me in the eye?
and tell me that you're happy now, yeah, yeah
come on, tell it to my face or have i been replaced,
are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh
are you happy now?

Would you look me in the eye?
Could you look me in the eye?
I’ve had all that I can take
I'm not about to break
Cause I’m happy now, ohhh, ohhh
Are you happy now?

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

...On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams...well more like a boat...Boat of Broken Dreams....Damn hole.

There are things that I want to do with my life. Things I want to accomplish, the only problem is that it's just not happening fast enough... I'm not a perfectionist, and God knows I'm far from perfect (and I'm fine with that) However, when I dedicate myself to something, I stick with it, and I'm NEVER satisfied with the end results; I'm always pushing myself to be better, pushing myself to work harder, and what bothers me is that it seems the harder I work to achieve something the harder it is to actually reach it.

...I'm in a row boat in the middle of a lake... I can see my dreams carved into the side of the boat, they are what support me, keep me moving and motivated to reach the other side. The only problem is I have this huge whole in my boat... I have to keep rowing, have to keep pushing, have to keep on living, but I can't because I HAVE A FREAKIN' HOLE IN MY DAMN BOAT! and the water just keeps pouring in faster than I can pail it out. If I don't fix it, if I just keep on letting the water in, there goes my dreams, and I'll just be stranded out in the middle of a lake...

I'm at a moment in my life where I should just Shut Up and Live I should just listen to the little Sousa in my head, but there's something inside me, something keeping me from just moving on...

I should figure out what it is...