Never Again

I'M FREEEEE!

and lonely...but never better.

I woke up to this song this Morning...It was Fantastic.

"Welcome to the real world", she said to me
Condescendingly
Take a seat
Take your life
Plot it out in black and white
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
And the drama queens
I'd like to think the best of me
Is still hiding
Up my sleeve

They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above

So the good boys and girls take the so called right track
Faded white hats
Grabbing credits
Maybe transfers
They read all the books but they can't find the answers
And all of our parents
They're getting older
I wonder if they've wished for anything better
While in their memories
Tiny tragedies

They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you got to rise above

I am invincible
As long as I'm alive

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above

I just can't wait til my 10 year reunion
I'm gonna bust down the double doors
And when I stand on these tables before you
You will know what all this time was for

-John Mayer

-Called Me Beautiful...

...That's why.

...Lustful eh?...I guess that makes sense.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

I think I should have loved you presently...

So...change....decisions...future...bah

I don't want to have to deal with them right now, but alas, I must. Because I'm being faced with change, that in turn I must make decisions to that will both trivial and important to my future...

I thought/think I love fencing. It's so fun and it has changed my life in many ways, as well as given me a place to go and sort of vent my pent up energy, but something has changed. It just doesn't feel the same anymore. I'm not sure if it's me or if it's...well no it can't be anything else but me. Because it's ultimately my choice isn't it? Whether I still love it or not...What I'm coming to is that I'm probably going to have to quit.

I'm going to have to drop my AP European History class...which SUCKS because I love that class soo much, but I just can't keep up with the work load. But I love the subject!! But I'm going to have to replace it with another class so that I can keep participating in extra curriculars (I completely misspelled that word) and stuff.

I'm thinking of completely dedicating myself to theatre...which I'm not sure is such a good idea, but I like it a lot, and it makes me happier than anything else. I'm scared that I've taken my love for it for granted or completely ignored it up 'til now. So I'm wondering if it's too late?

I'm soo freaking scatter-brained and indecisive!

I'm scared that I'm going to quit something I could have the most potential in... but then again I can't keep spreading myself thin over too much bread... or else I won't reach any kind of potential at anything.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I should have loved you presently,
And given in earnest words I flung in jest;
And lifted honest eyes for you to see,
And caught your hand against my cheek and breast;
And all my pretty follies flung aside
That won you to me, and beneath your gaze,
Naked of reticence and shorn of pride,
Spread like a chart my little wicked ways.
I, that had been to you, had you remained,
But one more waking from a recurrent dream,
Cherish no less the certain stakes I gained,
And walk your memory’s halls, austere, supreme,
A ghost in marble of a girl you knew
Who would have loved you in a day or two.

...

I'm very twitterpated.

"Me Fail English...That's Umpossible!"

I can't write.

It's as simple as that. I mean, okay I can write when inspiration strikes, but that happens too rarely for me to be able to call myself a writer of any kind.

I'm so frustrated with myself...and my inability to put my thoughts down on a piece of paper. In AP English today we did a timed essay that was on an AP Test in like...the eighties or something, and for the life of me I could not figure out how to express the answer to the question (...What is the Complex Attitude of the Speaker?). I analyzed and annotated the poem...I knew what it was about, I knew the answer, but for the life of me I could not put it into words... my essay ended up being like 3 paragraphs long and barely even answered the question at all.

...I hate this!

I Stole This From Lisa's Blog...hehehe

J: Lives life for fun.
E: A damn good kisser.
S: Easy to fall in love with.
S: Easy to fall in love with. (...ummm)
A: Easy to hang with.
M: Makes dating fun.
Y: One of the best damn bf/gf anyone could ask for.
N: Dead sexy. (HAHAHAHAHA!)

S: Easy to fall in love with.
V: Not judgemental. (pfft....)
E: A damn good kisser.
N: Dead sexy.
S: Easy to fall in love with.
S: Easy to fall in love with. (I have too many S's in my name!)
O: Best in bed. (I do what I can)
N: Dead sexy.

KEY:::

A: Easy to hang with.
B: Likes people.
C: Is wild and crazy.
D: Has one of the best personalities ever.
E: A damn good kisser.
F: People adore you.
G: Never let people tell you what to do.
H: Have a very good personality and looks.
I: Loves everyone.
J: Lives life for fun.
K: Really silly.
L: Loved by everyone.
M: Makes dating fun.
N: Dead sexy.
O: Best in bed.
P: Popular with all types of people.
Q: A hypocrite.
R: Frickin crazy.
S: Easy to fall in love with.
T: Loyal to those you love.
U: Really likes to chill.
V: Not judgemental.
W: Very broad minded.
X: Never let people tell you what to do.
Y: One of the best damn bf/gf anyone could ask for.
Z: Always ready.

All of these statements are generalizations that apply to everyone... but it's still fun to indulge in stupid little things every once in a while. :P