I've broken down about three times just this past week.
I'm so lost right now. I'm... very confused about most things, but at the same time very sure of a few.
The Few and Inseparable Many:
- I don't miss anybody from last year, except for maybe Sousa and Cameron Bench, even then man... not as much as I would have thought.
- I'm the world's worst friend.
- I suck as a leader.
- Congratulations Chase, you got what you wanted: I'm failing as President.
- Nothing makes me as happy as I was when fencing was the most important thing in my life.
- Andrew Cerv, Lisa Aston, Michelle Dowdle, Brett Merkeley, Scott Robinson. I'm effing lucky to have you, but there is no chance in hell that I deserve your friendship (especially Brett's after all the shit I've put him through)
- I cheated. cheated cheated cheated. On an amazing guy with someone who made me miserable what the fuck was I thinking?
- I'm a procrastinator and a fake.
- I don't care anymore, I've forgotten what caring for something feels like.
- It's hard to laugh.
- I don't know who I am any more. I'm too much of a social cameleon.
- Nathan, my little brother. I miss him so much.
I'm so emotionally stressed.
1. Get My Shit Together