That's how it always is isn't it? You have to be willing to lay your pride out on the line when you go up on strip. You have to accept defeat in order to gain glory. You have to be willing to suffer great heartache and loss when you give someone your heart...EVERY decision we make has a lasting consequence, whether the consequence is positive or negative we have to learn to live with it.
What if you don't want to suffer? What if you don't want to have to deal with heartache? What if you don't want to have to lose? All you want is for things to go your way?...Wouldn't we all just love to have life go our way? Well Life isn't perfect. If you want to learn something, ANYTHING from this life you have to risk something.
And this, my friends, is why I am such a coward...and there really is no way to...I guess, articulate what I'm trying to say... I have set myself up for so much pain, and awkwardness...and I'm wondering if it's worth it? I can't help but wonder now that it's over, looking back...Was it worth it? Was it worth losing one of my best friends?
Not to be pessimistic...but that's all I'm good for lately...I used to think that you could be happier in the long run taking the risk even if you get hurt. But I did that...I took risks and thought I would be happier in the long run, because I thought the possibility of being hurt would be outweighed by the fact that I didn't have to wonder what would have happened. But it didn't. Sometimes wondering what could have happened is much much much better than taking the risk and leaving yourself open to be hurt. Because hurt never really leaves. Not completely.