Saturday, January 21, 2006

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IT WAS I DID????

I'm used to being in the middle of situations. I don't like this!! I'm not in the middle anymore, I'm on a side!.....I AM A SIDE!! what the hell?! I don't even know what it is I did that put me in this stupid postion. WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE JUST TELL ME ALREADY!? was it just because I was being pissy? you want to know why I was being pissy?? alright FINE

My parents were going through a really really really hard time. They almost got a divorce. My mom bought an apartment in North Orem that we might have moved into (I had already begun packing some of my things to get taken to the apartment) and she didn't even tell Baha about it until LAST NIGHT! They aren't getting a divorce, and my mom gave the apartment to my brother and sister-in-law. I'm still living in the fish bowl that is my house. I'm really....really stressed out and frustrated at home. Things are getting better here, and not to have a fatalistic attitutude toward the whole situation, but we'll just see how long it lasts...

I said in an earlier post that I don't feel comfortable at home, for obvious reason...which just left you guys. the only problem is EVERYONE IS BEING SO DAMN PISSY. I'm sorry that I brought my frustration to school, I really am. But HONESTLY! it's kinda hard not to When I could have possibly had to pick up my entire life and start over in a small, but nice, apartment closer to where Criman lives than anyone else!!!! What really hurts me is that people I warned in December....people who I decided to trust with my secret....apparently still just stood by and let people stab me in the back, or blame me for the FUCKING CAKE or your STUPID PANTS! oh yeah and how about we talk about how rude it was for Jessy to laugh at funny jokes in your show!! I'm not sorry!!!! IT WAS FUNNY! I'm coming to see it tonight and guess what...I'M GOING TO LAUGH! GET OVER IT! I wasn't doing it to try and distract you, and I certainly wasn't doing it because I was trying to get attention! I was doing it because it's a FUNNY SHOW!

I told you, "hey I'm going to go through a really hard time in January and sort of into February, so if I become like kind of pissy....it's because my parents are going to get a divorce." you said, "oh okay...yeah I won't hold it against you, infact I'll tell people off if they start talking smack about you Svensson don't worry." I find myself surrounded by hipocracy...whether it's intentional or unintentional I really don't care.

and side note.... I was happy, I'm sorry if it became a little sick, but find a tactful way of telling me...over text messaging....isn't tactful...I am happy, would you just LET me be happy?? it's not the end of the world. I'm aware that everyone is going through their own hardships right now, and I really really really didn't mean to take out my frustration on you guys, if that's why you are pissed at me. Please all I'm asking is that if someone has a problem please say it to my face and NOT to somebody else's.

3 comments:

Alex Iskandar said...

Hey Jessy ;-) Peers are hard to understand and even harder to rationalise when they do / say the things they do. I don't claim to know / understand all that you're going through but take some time for yourself and take care.

that lisa girl said...

people are so dumb. that is all I have to say.





oh, and... I LOVE YOU JESSY- I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU NEED ME--ALWAYS :)

The Short One said...

i love you like a sanguin penguin loves a swedish fencer.

i'm so sorry all of this is happening. if i did anything to make it worse, just yell at me. haha. no really, you can have a whole half hour of just letting it all out on me.

and this is all sthooo noth yesth.

but YOU are stho yesth!!