Just another Regret...

Let me explain something...

There are two categories I stick new Human Beings into: People and Persons. When I first meet somebody they are a People. Everyone is People to me. I don't trust People, Because People aren't trustworthy. They are Flawed and Corrupt.

What do you want me to say...?

Then, there are Persons. Persons are People who have proven to me that they deserve my Trust, and are then promoted from People to Persons. Don't get me wrong I like People, People are awesome. Just not...trustworthy.

'I'm sorry...' What am I supposed to say to that...?

Trust, is very important to me. To me, It doesn't just mean the firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing. It means I will always be there for you. It means that since you have proven yourself, you will always have my friendship and loyalty for the rest of your life, even if we never see eachother again, I will always consider you a friend.

You said that I was bad at hiding my emotions...feelings...

Since, I am so fiercly loyal to Persons, when Persons violate my Trust...It's crushing. The most painful part of it is that it forces me to put up a wall between me and that Person. And that Person is no longer a Person, they become a People.

Would you have me hate you? You've already given up on our friendship, so why shouldn't I...?

When I have to do that to someone, when I have to take back my trust, faith, loyalty, and friendship from someone who was once close to me...I'm thrown into confusion.

...It's the only way I can think of to hide how I feel...to just give up, and give in...

What should I do? How should I treat that per...People...He's a People now. I have to keep reminding myself.

'You're friendship means a lot to me'...that was obviously a lie.

I want to feel apathetic about this. I really do, but it's too hard when I have so much emotionally vested...When I once thought that I loved you...Things were okay once, right? Right when it ended it seemed like you really cared, like you still wanted me to be your friend.

You left me when I needed someone the most...You left. You never explained why. Once again you leave me feeling abandoned and used. No matter how many times you told me that you cared or that you never used me...you did. But I don't blame you. I told you once that I could never hate you...

When did things change? When did we both decide to just give up?

looks like I lied too...